Group Ad Summary Paraphrase Quotation

Summary
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) has come together to create an advertisement in which Colonel Sanders is featured holding a bucket of KFC fried chicken, with two women standing next to him while smiling. The advertisement is to simulate two homemakers, delighted at the prospect of less kitchen duty during the hustle and bustle of holiday season, by buying KFC chicken instead.


Paraphrase
In KFC's 1968 Christmas ad Colonel Sanders is seen standing in the center of the frame, holding a bucket of KFC chicken, with two smiling house wives at his side. All three of them are dressed in Christmas clothing. During the busy holiday season it can often be difficult to balance the daily chores and activities among the added tasks of holiday shopping and preparing holiday meals. KFC is claiming to offer an effective solution by making meals for you. Like they said, "who's got time to fix dinner during Christmas rush?"


Quotation
The 1968 KFC Christmas ad claims that their chicken will, "give you a rest during the rush."

Summary:
In Rubin's analysis of a Coca-Cola ad she examines the various elements within the ad and their reason for being there. She goes further and makes the claim that the ad is so effective since it represents the unattainable American dream.


Paraphrase:
In her analysis of a 1950's Coca-Cola ad, author Melissa Rubin's how Coca-Cola managed to appeal so greatly to the general public. Initially she notes the most obvious design elements. White, fluffy clouds on a blue sky, giving the appearance of peace. A red Coke machine towering over the skyscrapers in the metropolis behind it, implying that it is more important than them. A cheery mascot gesturing for the reader to take a sip. Continuing on she goes further into detail, analyzing the mindsets of the American people in the fifties. She points out that at the center of the congregation of people in the ad are three service men, highlighting their importance and Coca-Cola's support for the military, a tactful popularity move. Next to them are blue collar workers and their bosses, implying that Coca Cola is a relaxing drink for all hard workers to enjoy together. Delving deeper, she explains the lack of gender and racial diversity in the ads. In the background only a few women are featured and in casual dresses instead of working clothes, Rubin claims it "represents the assumption that women played a less important role in society--or at least in the war effort and the workforce."(Page 179). More glaringly though there is no racial diversity in the ad entirely, showing that Coca-Cola as did most American citizens still though of non-whites as insignificant people and unworthy of spots on a Coca-Cola ad. In her conclusion she states that, "The message: theirs is a life to be envied and emulated, so drink Coca-Cola and life that life yourself,"(Page 180)


Quote:
In Melissa Rubin's analysis, she makes the claim that we, "can learn a great deal about [a] culture by looking closely at the deliberate ways a company crafts an ad to appeal to particular audiences."(176)

Group Ad Presentation Analysis

In the ad the women are happily smiling, clutching Colonel Sanders arms as if he is a family member or love interest. In their hands are presents, while in Sanders hands is a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken filled past the brim in the center of the frame implying that it is the most important present. On the Colonel's head is a Santa hat which matches his snowy white beard, making him appear almost like Santa Claus himself, bringing presents and joy every Christmas in the form of KFC chicken. His white suit giving great contrast to the golden brown chicken he is holding. All 3 people in the frame are dressed in the image of the ideal American on a Christmas day in order to appeal to those who desire to achieve that image. Perhaps if they eat KFC  they can be like them. In the upper right corner it says "Who's got time to fix dinner during Christmas rush?" implying that a person as busy as the homemakers reading the ad should give themselves a break and buy KFC for dinner. Later on it says it is "ready in minutes at over 1900 locations all over the nation" to emphasize its convenience. At the top of the page in bolded letters it says "He'll give you a rest during the rush", a very persuading proposition for the busy housewife during the holiday bustle.

In Class Lab: Textual Analysis Paper

1. The publishers are PETA, Freedom For Animals, and Mercy for Animals.

2. They are intended to affect the general consumer that use products that were tested on animals in inhumane conditions, or for consumers of products such as fur coats and other animal products.

3. Each ad is directly denouncing a product or company that involves animal mistreatment.

4. To raise public awareness about animal cruelty involved in many consumer products in order to help further the cause through mass boycotting.

5 and 6. They are attempting to make the consumer feel more directly connected to the issues such as animal cruelty and animal testing. They do this through emotional devices such as a sad dog face, disgusting blood in hair, and a silently judging pug. They also use logical devices like "If you wouldn't wear your dog please don't wear any fur."

7. They persuade the general public to be less supportive of companies, products, and behaviors that promote inhumane treatment of animals

Rubin Summary

In her analysis of a 1950's Coca-Cola ad, author Melissa Rubin's how Coca-Cola managed to appeal so greatly to the general public. Initially she notes the most obvious design elements. White, fluffy clouds on a blue sky, giving the appearance of peace. A red Coke machine towering over the skyscrapers in the metropolis behind it, implying that it is more important than them. A cheery mascot gesturing for the reader to take a sip. Continuing on she goes further into detail, analyzing the mindsets of the American people in the fifties. She points out that at the center of the congregation of people in the ad are three service men, highlighting their importance and Coca-Cola's support for the military, a tactful popularity move. Next to them are blue collar workers and their bosses, implying that Coca Cola is a relaxing drink for all hard workers to enjoy together. Delving deeper, she explains the lack of gender and racial diversity in the ads. In the background only a few women are featured and in casual dresses instead of working clothes, Rubin claims it "represents the assumption that women played a less important role in society--or at least in the war effort and the workforce."(Page 179). More glaringly though there is no racial diversity in the ad entirely, showing that Coca-Cola as did most American citizens still though of non-whites as insignificant people and unworthy of spots on a Coca-Cola ad. In her conclusion she states that, "The message: theirs is a life to be envied and emulated, so drink Coca-Cola and life that life yourself,"(Page 180)

Pg 181 1-4

1.Through Rubin's analysis she reveals that Coca-Cola prime position that it currently has in the soft drink market is due to the popular appeal it gained during the war times. She also notes how racial themes were used throughout Coca-Cola's early advertisements and how Coca-Cola tried to display the American life as ideal in its ads to encourage foreigners into drinking it in hopes of becoming more American-like. She uses old ads and statements done directly by Coca Cola to support her analyses.

2. Historical context is included in her numerous quotes and the full page ad. Her additional synopsis of the mindset and life of the average man of the period and the importance of historical events such as labor unions to Coca-Colas development also help to give context. These contribute by grounding her analysis more firmly in reality, allowing readers to better connect with the narrative.

3. Other questions that can be answered through ad analyses are: Who were the primary buyers of the time period, what was the ideal lifestyle of the time, what advertising techniques were effective against people of the time period?

4. A large number of ads that feature anything from dishwashers to jeans depict an American family of 4 living in a sizable middle class house. This shows that an ideal life for our era is having a stable family, home ownership, a quiet suburban life, and a steady income. Compared to old Coca-Cola ads things have not changed to much. Although ads now focus more intensely on family life, both still feature primarily middle class workers relaxing and enjoying life due to their product.

10/20 Group Lab

1. We all agreed that Heather's main point was that Mad Men was a ideal representation of American Society, using the revered 60's as the setting to further represent the ideal. We think that Mad Men is a stark contrast to the stillbirth that is the American dream currently.  We reached consensus that this point was defined early and later elaborated on throughout the body paragraphs.

2.  We can now see after reading chapter nine that she tailored her thesis to better relate to the American audience by giving brief anecdotes of an American dream that is no longer apparent.  She carefully defined her main point and then analyzed the components of Mad Men that supported her agenda. During an analysis considering the audience is important and since the main readers are an American audience her narrative was polished to better relate to its readers and evoke an emotional reaction from them. Analyzing the larger context is also vital, she did this by noting the various characters that represent forms of femininity in the world and connecting their overall success in life back to this in an effort to articulate that independence is an important trait to women in the modern world.

4. This essay fits the criteria for an analysis paper because it considers the audience, articulates its purpose, considers the larger context, and considers design. Being that a narrative about the treatment of women throughout the years by the media will be mostly read by feminists, the author quite clearly adjusted his writing to strike upon many feminist talking points. Some of these include objectification of women, increasing independence and education of women, and the gender role of being required to be youthful. His point is articulated rather clearly at both the beginning and end, with some implication of it in the middle. The author also points at trends in the larger context, noting on how ads began to use more stats and science based persuasion techniques as time went on and women became further educated. Finally, the author goes into great analysis on the various design elements used within the respective ads.

Page 175 Mad Men

1. The author's main insight about the show Mad Men is that it is a wish fulfillment fantasy modeled after the American dream. This is seen on page 170 "The American dream ... less attainable than ever," page 174 "Everyone and everything is gorgeous to the point of luminosity," and page 174, "The ambition and conflicted desires of these characters in their pursuit of happiness is what makes Mad Men such a singular and resonant reflection of a particularly American puzzle." The main point is made initially in the first passage, that is that the American dream is less attainable than ever. Later on in page 174 Mad Men is noted on being "gorgeous to the point of luminosity", a steep contrast to our dreary reality. Finally the last quote links the two together directly, stating that Mad Men's idealistic form of the American dream is particularly resonant for American's.

2. Havrilesky's casual show of intense knowledge on matter pertaining to Mad Men, such as deeply describing a characters emotion and motivations for actions, and her mentions of having watched the seasons establish her authority to write about the show.

3."This is the automobile a man of your means should drive. This is the liquor a happy homemaker like yourself should server to your husband's business guests." This passage reveals subconscious messages that all of her readers have likely been entrenched in for their entire lives, this allows for readers to connect deeply to her writings. "Slowly we come to view our own lives as inconsequential, grubby, even intolerable." This passage brings out the deep rooted disappointment the readers have in their own lives. The author also describes the various characters in a very humane, easy to relate to way so that their own emotions rise and fall as their stories are told.

4. I was not very familiar with it before but I know feel I understand at least the basic premise of the show, although I do not feel compelled to watch it. I believe I understand it because the author gave a very in-depth view into the personal lives of the character, their interactions, and also gave a apt description of the setting the show is in.

Personal Literary Narrative

I never failed tests. I rarely even dipped below an eighty percent. But still in front of me was my essay with 2/9 written in red ink.

It was the first week of my AP World History Class and my teacher had just announced a surprise essay. Neither I nor the other students had expected any work so early into the year. Some of my classmates already looked anxious, but I was calm. I knew essays were a strong point of mine so I was determined to kick off the year with a good grade. My teacher slid the essay prompt to me and I began. The concept was straightforward enough, I just had to analyze 7 short historical documents to answer the essay question. Quickly I started writing. Within a few minutes I had my thesis pinned and was beginning to craft the supporting arguments. I identified the 3 articles that were the most useful and launched a highly detailed analysis of each. After finishing the body paragraphs I seamlessly began the conclusion, retouching upon all my previously made points. Before I knew it the allotted 50 minutes had passed. Being left handed the side of my fist was dry from being covered in graphite dust. I viewed it almost as a badge of honor; it was proof I had pressed out 3 pages so quickly. With my left hand I confidently brought my essay to the front of the class and put it in the pile that was reluctantly being filled by my classmates. I left the class feeling sure that I had scored well; I must have if I had written 3 pages while others had struggled to do half that. A week passed and this confidence remained strong

Getting back my essay was a slap to the face. I looked around the class and to my minor comfort I saw everyone else had done roughly the same, with no one getting higher than a 4, but this raised the question of what it was that everyone had done incorrectly. Confused I looked through the notes my teacher had written on my essay. Every other line seemed to be crossed out in red ink. I turned to the last page and scrawled at the bottom was, "Less words, more Answers."

I was unsure what exactly my teacher meant by this but before I could ask he had already taken position at the front of the class. He looked out at us and began his lecture, "Many of you are likely wondering why your scores are so low. Well, it's because this is a technical essay. All any of you should be writing about is the answer to the prompt. When you take the AP test at the end of the year your essay grader will not care if you can write beautifully but only if you answer the question efficiently. Any inflation to your essay through useless information or excessive explanation will detract from your score. Only write what you need to."

In the wake of that day we would have another prompt assigned every month or so and each time I would try to improve, attempting to heed my teacher's advice. During the first three months my score increased only marginally, eventually raising to a 5. Although my score wasn't satisfactory it was at least passing. I tried many ways to improve my writing, everything from trying to merge sentences together, making them a little shorter, to leaving some of what I was trying to get across to implication. Eventually I found the most effective technique I could apply was removing my voice completely from my essay, only writing what the prompt asked for. Any personal commentary or insights were edited out, leaving the paper dull and devoid of personality. Ultimately whoever would grade my essay could not care less about who I am so it did not matter. It was almost insulting when my first essay using this style was returned to me. I had scored a 7/9, jumping up two whole points from my last one. Most would be overjoyed, but having distanced myself so far from my writing I could no longer take any personal pride in the improvement. I continued to practice and by the time the AP test was near I could score 8's and 9's consistently. On the day of the test I went in confident. Two months later when the results came back I found out I had gotten a perfect score. It was all thanks to technical writing.

This event impacted how I viewed and exercised literature greatly. Leading up to that essay I had always thought of good writing as descriptive and beautiful, explaining everything that could be. It opened my eyes for I had never seen writing as a tool to be used with precision, only saying what needed to be said. Ever since then I can look back on old writing that I have done and see flaws on every page. For instance in Middle School I could never leave a simple sentence alone, it had to be ornamented with metaphors and adjectives. I would write, "The tires kicked off against the road, barreling us forwards. Growing closer were starkly angular peaks, jutting out of the forest in varying shades, all unified by their icy painted caps." As is evident I described far more than necessary, even to a point where my readers might not understand what it was I was trying to describe anymore. In this case, writing, "we drove towards the ominous mountains" would be just as effective and far more efficient. Ever since I got my essay back I have actively worked to trim flowery prose like this from my writing, only using them frugally in order to make their occasional appearance powerful. Working on my technical writing has definitely helped to improve my creative writing but more importantly it has allowed me to be better prepared for the style of writing that makes up the majority of the professional world. Although creative writing is enjoyable and should be taught in schools I find technical writing to be far more important. Being able to write a concise resume or clear instructions are exercises to be done often throughout one's life but for the majority of us once we leave school we will no longer be called upon to write a descriptive sentence on how we drove towards mountains. When we look back on eras past often the famous literary works of the time springs to mind. Who can recall the post World War 1 era without Hemingway's works entering their thoughts? It is undeniable that creative writings can define time periods and are an essential asset to any society but it is far too often overlooked that it was the seemingly insignificant technical writing carried out by the average person that allowed for the societies to exist at all. For this reason I believe technical writing is the most important form of literature one can learn.

Page 138 and 141

Decisions Page 138:

Attending OC:
The decision to attend OC has made a massive impact on my daily and academic life since it essentially defines them with its schedule. The decision to go to OC over staying at my high school has also effected my social life because it changes greatly the people that I am often around. Before making the decision I had to research what classes are available here, how well they transfer to other schools, how my attendance here would affect my university applications in 2 years, and whether or not to take more than 3 classes.
When to schedule classes:
This decision effects my daily schedule because it dictates where I am and what I am doing at given times. I had to research what times each of my classes was available, determine how long it would take to drive to each one, and decide whether I wanted daily or bi-weekly classes.
Whether to study for the SAT or ACT:
This effects my academic life greatly due to its large effect on my college applications. I had to research which each respective test primarily evaluated and compare it to my strengths. Also I had to determine which one had more study material available and when each test is available to take.
What computer parts to buy:
This effects my daily life because it dictates the types of things I can perform on my computer and also how much loose change I have on me. I had to research which parts have better price to performance rations, which ones have longer life spans, which one had longer warranties, and which ones were compatible with each other.
What major to take:
This will effect my academic and daily life for the next 6 years or so due to the fact it determines which classes I will be taking in pursuit of a degree. Before making this decision I had to research median entry-level wages of fields I am interested in, the intensity of each major, grade requirements for entry to programs for each major, the versatility of each degree, and which ones will get me a job I enjoy doing.
Analysis
This chart shows academics are a priority of mine, determining the image of most of my life currently and for the next 6 years, and that computers are a hobby of mine, effecting how much spending money I have and the various tasks I can perform on my computer, such as rendering and gaming.

Page 141

http://www.anandtech.com/show/9659/fable-legends-directx-12-benchmark-analysis/6
http://www.pcgamer.com/amd-radeon-r9-fury-x-tested-not-quite-a-980-ti-killer/
Anand's analysis of the two GPUs is more effective due to its use of comprehensive graphs, videos, and concise language. Overall it is much easier to understand for new computer enthusiasts due to its varied mediums used to convey information on both GPUs. The line graphs are very easy to look at because of their white background and simple design and there clean comparison of the two products highlights the differences between the two.
To make the other site's analysis more effective I would shorten the overall amount of text to make it easier to read, alter the bar graphs to be easier to look at and larger in resolution, and also include a comprehensive explanation of the hardware specs listed for those who do not know the technical terms and acronyms. Also the bias towards the GTX 980 TI from the writer should be toned down to make the analysis a more professional, technical article.

Taking Stock of Your Writing

1. My main point is that everyone should learn how to write technically because it is an important skill to be utilized throughout everyone's life.

2. I assumed my audience would be my professor. Since she is grading my paper I made sure to make my main point clear and to keep language formal. I also made sure to incorporate advice from our text book because she is most likely grading our papers based off of many of the points the book makes.

3. The only feedback was from a classmate who gave  positive feedback so their was not to much to make use of.

4. I learned to actively try to keep the readers attention while also making sure to get the main point across and write according to the assignment. It was interesting to mix formal and personal writing styles into one essay.

5. I don't have any questions on the assignment. I think the strength of my paper is its clear progression of improvement. Also I think the message got across well. For weaknesses I think the somewhat inconsistent flow of time, a few shaky transitions, and the abrupt switch between telling the story and concluding the essay are the major ones.

Literary Narrative First Draft

I never failed tests. I rarely even dipped below an eighty percent. But still in front of me was my essay with 2/9 written in red ink.

It was the first week of my AP World History Class and my teacher had just announced a surprise essay. Neither I nor the other students had expected any work so early into the year. Some of my classmates already looked anxious, but I was calm. I knew essays were a strong point of mine so I was determined to kick off the year with a good grade. My teacher slid the essay prompt to me and I began. The concept was straightforward enough, I just had to analyze 7 short historical documents to answer the essay question. Quickly I started writing, and before I knew it the allotted 50 minutes had passed. Being left handed the side of my fist was dry from being covered in graphite dust. I viewed it almost as a badge of honor; it was proof I had pressed out 3 pages so quickly. With my left hand I confidently brought my essay to the front of the class and put it in the pile that was reluctantly being filled by my classmates. I left the class feeling sure that I had scored well; I must have if I had written 3 pages while others had struggled to do half that. A week passed and this confidence remained strong

Getting back my essay was a slap to the face. I looked around the class and to my minor comfort I saw everyone else had done roughly the same, with no one getting higher than a 4, but this rose the question of what it was that everyone had done incorrectly. Confused I looked through the notes my teacher had written on my essay. Every other line seemed to be crossed out in red ink. I turned to the last page and scrawled at the bottom was, "Less words, more Answers."

I was unsure what exactly my teacher meant by this but he had already taken position at the front of the class before I could ask. He looked out at us and began his lecture, "Many of you are likely wondering why your scores are so low, well it's because this is a technical essay and all any you should be writing about is the answer to the prompt. When you take the AP test at the end of the year your essay grader will not care if you can write beautifully but only if you answer the question efficiently. Any inflation to your essay through useless information or excessive explanation will detract from your score. Only write what you need to."

In the wake of that day we would have another prompt assigned every month or so and each time I would try to improve. During the first three months my score increased only marginally, eventually raising to a 5. Although my score wasn't satisfactory it was at least passing. I tried many ways to improve my writing, everything from trying to merge sentences together to make them a little shorter to leaving some of what I was trying to get across to implication. Eventually I found the most effective technique I could apply was removing my voice completely from my essay, only writing what the prompt asked for because ultimately whoever would grade it could not care less about who I am. It was almost insulting when my first essay using this style was returned to me. I had scored a 7/9, jumping up 2 whole points from my last one. Most would be overjoyed, but having distanced myself so far from my writing I could no longer take any personal pride in the improvement. I continued to practice and by the time the AP was near I could score 8's and 9's consistently. On the day of the test I went in confident. 2 months later when the scores came back I found out I had gotten a perfect score, and it was all thanks to technical writing.

This event impacted how I viewed and exercised literature greatly. Leading up to that essay I had always thought of good writing as descriptive and beautiful, explaining everything that could be. It opened my eyes for I had never seen writing as a tool to be used with precision, only saying what needed to be said. Ever since then I can look back on old writing that I have done and see flaws on every page. For instance in Middle School I could never leave a simple sentence alone, it had to be filled with metaphors and adjectives. I would write, "The tires kicked off against the road, barreling us forwards. Growing closer were starkly angular peaks, jutting out of the forest in varying shades, all unified by their icy painted peaks." As is evident I described far more than necessary, even to a point where my readers might not understand what it was I was trying to describe anymore. In this case, writing, "we drove towards the ominous mountains" would be just as effective and far more efficient. Ever since I got my essay back I have actively worked to trim flowery prose like this from my writing, only using them frugally in order to make their occasional appearance powerful. Working on my technical writing has definitely helped to improve my creative writing but more importantly it has allowed me to be better prepared for the style of writing that makes up the majority of the professional world. Although creative writing is enjoyable and should be taught in schools I find technical writing to be far more important. Being able to write a concise resume or clear instructions are exercises to be done often throughout one's life but for the majority of us once we leave school we will no longer be called upon to write a descriptive sentence on how we drove towards mountains. For this reason I believe technical writing is an important life skill for everyone to learn.

5 Characteristic Features

In my personal narrative I will be writing on how I learned to become a more efficient writer. It will be focused around the event of how I scored poorly on a technical essay and how I struggled to improve at writing efficiently in a short amount of time. It will take place entirely inside a History Class room. It will be told from a first person perspective and will remain that way throughout its entirety. The point of my story is to emphasize how important technical writing is as an asset to everyone.

Literacy: A Lineage

The author immediately declares how important her father was to her path to literacy, indicating that these two elements are the focus of the story.    Page 132 Paragraph 1

She gives great detail to her story by including the poem at the bottom of the bell tower, making the tale feel real to the reader.    Page 132 Paragraph 2

The passage of time is made clear as the author accounts how her father has began to come less often to the bell tower. It is also implied that her love for literature has grown since she will go to the bell tower alone to recite the poem in any weather.    Page 133 Paragraph 2

She fleshes out her fathers character by repeating some of the quotes he loved to say the most.
Page 133 Paragraph 4

The perspective switches to first person as she tells of how her and her family went to the library.
Page 134 Paragraph 3

Using her relative unfamiliarity with French, she develops her point that tradition is an important part of appreciating a language, hence her preference for English.    Page 135 Paragraph 2

In the final paragraph she declares the stories message, that the tradition her father passed on to her is what made her truly literate.
Page 136 Paragraph 1

1.”She described it as “rushing like the Colorado River.” She knew that if she went outside, she would be swept up in the current and drown. There was no one in sight.” Page 129, Paragraph 3

2.”After about a year of waiting, I hereby tender my unqualified resignation.” Page 121, Paragraph 5

3.”Her tongue became dry and her lips were cracked, but she only was aware of being terrified of the water.” Page 130, Paragraph 2

“The chemical odor of a cleaning solution so strong that it seemed toxic.” Page 128, Paragraph 2

“We found the inside uncomfortably cold from air conditioning.” Page 128 Paragraph 2

4. Learning how to write efficiently for Standardized Testing

Discovering new genres of books

Learning to type quickly on a keyboard

5. In my story I want to tell how I became an efficient technical writer in the days leading up to an AP World History Test. My narrative will serve somewhat as a lesson to those who inflate their writing but it will mostly just be myself reflecting on my past, hopefully in an interesting manner.

6. My audiences consists of workers, students, and a professor so they will be able to relate to the message of my narrative, which is the necessity of technical writing. I will have to do a fair amount of explaining but seeing as most of them have been in a similar situation I can leave a lot implied.

7. I plan to favor a neutral tone with self-criticism mixed in. I want my readers to see me as someone who has learned from my mistakes.

8. This narrative will be displayed in print and on a blog so I will keep my type face generic and clear since doing otherwise would not add to my message.

9. The walls are thin and tan. Motivational posters hang. From the window an empty parking lot can be seen. Students hunched over their papers, just as I am, are in sight.

10. The room is mostly silent as classrooms often are during an essay. The scratch of pencils is continuous and the shuffle of papers a bit less so. Occasionally a student will sigh in frustration as they watch the allotted time dwindle.

11. I don’t remember any smells from the time.

12. I feel anxious but I am far too focused writing to give time to it. The left side of my left hand feels dry and discolored by the graphite it has been dragged along for the past thirty minutes.

13. I don’t remember any tastes from the time.

14. My teacher speaks concisely as he outlines the criteria of the essay. He is dressed semi formally and his expression is almost sympathetic as he gazes at those who had not expected an essay in the first week.

15. “You only have one hour to write, get to the point and don’t explain anything the prompt doesn’t ask for. The person reviewing your essay does not care if you can write beautiful prose.”

16. He handed back my essay and I let it slide across the table before I turned it over. On the top in red ink was a two, but the essay was scored out of nine. I was stunned, I could not remember the last time I got a failing grade on an essay, but I was not discouraged. I looked around myself and saw that others had received similar scores, but it did not console me. I was determined to know what it was that merited this score, my writing had been descriptive and flowing. Gazing on the pages I looked at the red marks that crossed out seemingly every other line I had written. At the end of the essay the teacher had left a note, “only write what you need to”.

17. This event was impactful for me to say the least. Leading up to that moment I had always thought of good writing as descriptive and beautiful, explaining everything that could be. It opened my eyes for I had never seen writing as a tool to be used with precision, only saying what needed to be said. Ever since then I can look back on old writing that I have done and see flaws on every page. For instance in middle school I could never leave a subject alone, it had to be attached to metaphors and adjectives. I would write, “The tires kicked off against the road, barreling us forwards. Growing closer were angular peaks that jutted out of the forest in varying shades of blue, all capped in an icy paint.” As is evident I described far more than necessary and added essentially nothing to my narrative since it was one about hiking, not driving towards mountains. In this case “We drove towards the mountains” would be just as effective and far more concise. I actively make an effort now to trim flowery proses, only using them occasionally, from my writing because they serve little purpose and will sometimes even detract from a narrative. In my previous example I spent so much time trying to describe driving towards mountains aesthetically that one might not be sure what it was that I had wrote about in the first place. When description reaches a point where it hinders the ability of writing to convey a message it should be removed.

Definition of Rhetoric Revision

After reading the definitions of rhetoric that my peers wrote, I have come to the conclusion that we all define it as essentially the same thing. The only differences I noted between our posts were on how we explained the way to apply rhetoric to arguments, but ultimately they were just different means to the same end. I have no revisions for my definition.

Definition of Rhetoric

Rhetoric is the art of persuading others. This is done by accounting for many things and then tailoring your argument to work best with them. You must consider your audience, the larger context, your medium, the design, the message you are trying to send, and your own stance. In thinking rhetorically it is important to modify your statement to better influence the audience. This is done by determining the sort of people your audience is, what they would find familiar and agreeable, and what they would immediately reject. For example, a scientist would immediately reject an argument based on flawed logic and pseudo-science, but would be more inclined to agree if the argument was supported by up to date scientific theory. Considering the larger context is another important aspect of rhetoric because you need to know your restrictions and goals. If you are writing a paper for a professor you might want to make your paper stand out by taking a different approach from your fellow classmates but at the same time you must be mindful of the criteria of the assignment. Evaluating your own stance is another vital part of rhetoric but often overlooked. To evaluate your own stance in a rhetorical situation you need to consider your attitude towards the subject, how you will convey it, and your own relationship with the audience. For example if you are arguing for legalizing all drugs and you have a very strong attitude on the subject you might want to tone it down in your argument due to it being a controversial subject. If you are also known by your audience to illegally use drugs consistently you will also lose ethos with your audience and might want to consider taking a more cautious, neutral approach to the subject so as to not seem as if your argument is designed for the sole purpose of benefiting yourself.

Rhetorical Situations -- Narratives

We all agreed that bravery and determination are the most things in the face of adversary and that this is indicated at the end of the story. Also we agreed that the point of view was first person narrative which let readers become emotionally connected and also allowed for Brideau’s commentary. I wrote that her use of surrealism and simple terms allowed her to bring emotion and life to the story. Other group members also added that her inclusion of details that brought out the humanity of the story made it seem more life-like. All of us put that the audience consisted of health care workers. As for how Brideau worked to sway them to her side, some of us put that she tried to make Lydia as relatable as possible by mentioning how much of a compassionate nurse she was, and other put that she used very personal and emotional words and phrases to appeal the pathos of the readers. Despite our differences in what we wrote, we all agreed with each other on our points on Brideau's persuasion techniques.

When "Lydia's Story" and Chapter 2 are put side by side it becomes apparent the relationship between the two. Most of the rhetorical strategies mentioned in chapter 2 appear in Lydia's story. It is very clear Brideau knows exactly who she is writing to in the way she tailors each sentence to best relate to and persuade the health care workers reading. Also, the way Brideau ties a relatively minor story back to a larger context, the support of Katrina survivors, is a masterful use of rhetoric. Chapter 2 and Lydia's Story also makes us realize the use of rhetoric in our own writing, especially our own bias. Many of the elements we incorporate into our writing subconsciously become clear, such as the way we change our writing styles and tones to better fit our expected audience.

Some of the stories that we all hear on a day-to-day basis include drama between people, various tasks and commonly occurring events during the day, tragedies to those we knew, and stories about unusual things we have previously done. These various types of narratives all include one recurring motif, the emotions of various people in differing situations. These narratives interest us because we relate to the people in them and learn new information that might help us in future situations.

Those around the same age as us and those with a sense of humor and those who were not afraid to expose their emotions were the most powerful to us. Short concise videos also increased the overall impact of the videos because they didn't water down the person's point. Longer videos which included the person narrating their own story were also very powerful in the way that they made us relate to the speaker.

In a History textbook, narrating is kept in a very neutral tone which makes the story telling uninteresting but also unoffensive or controversial. If a History narrative was presented in the form a a video game or movie, it would become much more interesting but at the same time might not get the main concept of what it is trying to teach across as well. A narrative such as a YouTube video is very visually interesting but if the narratives medium was changed to a text based format it would lose much of its appeal. A history textbook and a Youtube video are similar in that they both can convey a message but while a History Textbook tends to be lengthy and very explanatory a YouTube video is far more concise but at the sacrifice of depth.

In the past week I have written in the form of blog posts, Japanese homework, political forum posts, and texts. For my blog posts I have had to balance my tone by keeping them formal yet not completely removing my voice. I have also had to consider the audience of my posts, classmates and my teacher, so that I can make sure my point gets across clearly. For my Japanese homework I have had to write in all Japanese so as to meet the criteria set out by my teacher. My writing was also kept in casual style because the focus of our lessons are daily conversation skills in Japanese. The most complex rhetorical situation I was faced with, however, was in my political forum posts. In creating every post I had to consider the standpoint of who I was messaging, figure out how to sway them to my side, make sure all my facts were sourced and relevant, ensure the overall message was clear and concise, and make sure I consider their point of view. Also I needed to analyze my own motives for supporting various political policies so that I could ensure I was siding with the right cause.