1.”She described it as “rushing like the Colorado River.” She knew that if she went outside, she would be swept up in the current and drown. There was no one in sight.” Page 129, Paragraph 3

2.”After about a year of waiting, I hereby tender my unqualified resignation.” Page 121, Paragraph 5

3.”Her tongue became dry and her lips were cracked, but she only was aware of being terrified of the water.” Page 130, Paragraph 2

“The chemical odor of a cleaning solution so strong that it seemed toxic.” Page 128, Paragraph 2

“We found the inside uncomfortably cold from air conditioning.” Page 128 Paragraph 2

4. Learning how to write efficiently for Standardized Testing

Discovering new genres of books

Learning to type quickly on a keyboard

5. In my story I want to tell how I became an efficient technical writer in the days leading up to an AP World History Test. My narrative will serve somewhat as a lesson to those who inflate their writing but it will mostly just be myself reflecting on my past, hopefully in an interesting manner.

6. My audiences consists of workers, students, and a professor so they will be able to relate to the message of my narrative, which is the necessity of technical writing. I will have to do a fair amount of explaining but seeing as most of them have been in a similar situation I can leave a lot implied.

7. I plan to favor a neutral tone with self-criticism mixed in. I want my readers to see me as someone who has learned from my mistakes.

8. This narrative will be displayed in print and on a blog so I will keep my type face generic and clear since doing otherwise would not add to my message.

9. The walls are thin and tan. Motivational posters hang. From the window an empty parking lot can be seen. Students hunched over their papers, just as I am, are in sight.

10. The room is mostly silent as classrooms often are during an essay. The scratch of pencils is continuous and the shuffle of papers a bit less so. Occasionally a student will sigh in frustration as they watch the allotted time dwindle.

11. I don’t remember any smells from the time.

12. I feel anxious but I am far too focused writing to give time to it. The left side of my left hand feels dry and discolored by the graphite it has been dragged along for the past thirty minutes.

13. I don’t remember any tastes from the time.

14. My teacher speaks concisely as he outlines the criteria of the essay. He is dressed semi formally and his expression is almost sympathetic as he gazes at those who had not expected an essay in the first week.

15. “You only have one hour to write, get to the point and don’t explain anything the prompt doesn’t ask for. The person reviewing your essay does not care if you can write beautiful prose.”

16. He handed back my essay and I let it slide across the table before I turned it over. On the top in red ink was a two, but the essay was scored out of nine. I was stunned, I could not remember the last time I got a failing grade on an essay, but I was not discouraged. I looked around myself and saw that others had received similar scores, but it did not console me. I was determined to know what it was that merited this score, my writing had been descriptive and flowing. Gazing on the pages I looked at the red marks that crossed out seemingly every other line I had written. At the end of the essay the teacher had left a note, “only write what you need to”.

17. This event was impactful for me to say the least. Leading up to that moment I had always thought of good writing as descriptive and beautiful, explaining everything that could be. It opened my eyes for I had never seen writing as a tool to be used with precision, only saying what needed to be said. Ever since then I can look back on old writing that I have done and see flaws on every page. For instance in middle school I could never leave a subject alone, it had to be attached to metaphors and adjectives. I would write, “The tires kicked off against the road, barreling us forwards. Growing closer were angular peaks that jutted out of the forest in varying shades of blue, all capped in an icy paint.” As is evident I described far more than necessary and added essentially nothing to my narrative since it was one about hiking, not driving towards mountains. In this case “We drove towards the mountains” would be just as effective and far more concise. I actively make an effort now to trim flowery proses, only using them occasionally, from my writing because they serve little purpose and will sometimes even detract from a narrative. In my previous example I spent so much time trying to describe driving towards mountains aesthetically that one might not be sure what it was that I had wrote about in the first place. When description reaches a point where it hinders the ability of writing to convey a message it should be removed.